Chocoholics Anonymous

Hello,
My name is Rachael and I have a confession to make. Here's my story:

During my first trimester of this pregnancy I did not really have what would be defined as classic "morning sickness" but I did experience times of nausea and a whole not of non-existent appetite. Trying to find something I WANTED to eat was quite difficult. Plus I'd have weird cravings like I'd want a big steak at 11pm and the next day my darling husband would take me to lunch where I could get a steak and the idea of eating any meat at all made me sick! It was a rough first trimester and I ended up losing weight which was no surprise. My doctor was stern with me that I need to eat properly and eat enough calories to cover running after a toddler AND building a baby. So Clint was nice and made me eat all the time and was very patient as I scrunched my nose in distaste at many suggestions throughout the day.

Now that I am in the second trimester we'll just say that the appetite problem is not a problem anymore! It feels like I'm eating all the time and I'm finally gaining more. Problem is...

...THIS is what I'd like to be eating all the time. Now, if you know me you know that I appreciate a yummy sweet treat every now and then but I'm not a huge fan of candies, cookies and cakes and especially not too much chocolate. But, apparently hormones can change that about a person! So while I'm grumpily munching on a carrot I'm really thinking about the big bag of mini-candy bars that are in my pantry and while I am eating chicken, rice and corn for lunch I really just wish I could fill up on a bunch of chocolate chip cookies or cupcakes! Hopefully this is just a phase because This is killing me! I guess I should be thankful I'm so stubborn because this "iron will" is probably why I have not gained 20 pounds in the past 3 weeks. :) Well, that and knowing that eating a whole bunch of chocolate can't be good for little Lily. At least now I know how many women feel when they talk about needing their chocolate fix. It really is a necessity. I am sorry I ever doubted you!

I'm off to go check the status of my mini-crunch bar stash. I'll leave you with this bit of inspiration to go green...

I think I can't. I think I can't. I think I can't.

One of my most vivid memories from the first days of being a mother was standing in my house hugging my mom goodbye after she picked us up from the hospital to bring us home and the tears welling up in my eyes as I began to break down and tell her how terrified I was that I was going to do something wrong or that Andrew would be up all night miserable because I could not figure out what he needed or what I should do. She hugged me and smiled and said she knew I could handle it. But, she offered to stay the night anyway to help and I was so glad she did. After that first night of taking care of him (with lots of help) I KNEW I really could do this! I just lacked the self-confidence.

My wonderful husband is always telling me that if I keep telling myself I CAN'T do something then I will always be right. As long as I think I cannot accomplish this task or that one then I will be holding myself back from doing it. James talks about your tongue as a rudder and that, even though it is so small, it can be as powerful as the tiny rudder on a huge ship. The older I get the more I see that my husband and James are really right. If I can just start telling myself that I CAN do this then I will be able to and have confidence that God will give me the strength I need to do it whether it's preparing VBS materials, loving my enemy or forgiving someone who has hurt me deeply.

So here's to changing "I think I can't!" to "In God, I know I can!"